


I Was Not Expecting This

by marcicat



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, kitten!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-21
Updated: 2011-10-21
Packaged: 2017-10-24 20:33:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/267604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcicat/pseuds/marcicat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No lie: there is always room for more fic where someone turns into a kitten.  Captain America would be totes adorable as a kitten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Was Not Expecting This

  
_“Pepper?  Do you have a minute?”_   


She frowned, even as her hand reached automatically for the intercom.  One, Tony didn’t tend to  _ask_ if she was available -- he just assumed.  Two, he wasn’t supposed to be in the building at all.  Which, sure, like that ever stopped him, but C-Span was still reporting Iron Man fighting the flavor of the week with Captain America and Dr. Banner.  No video footage, but it was in the ticker.

She flipped the intercom switch.  “Tony?”

  
_“Pepper!  Before you say anything, I’m reminding you that this was all your idea.”_   


“What?”  She swiped a finger to jump the call to her phone.  With Tony, it was generally better to be en route to the scene even before he got around to explaining the problem.

  
_“You’re the one who made me promise not to keep things from you unless they involved birthday gifts or would make Fury toss me out an airlock.”_   


He sounded out of breath, and the background noise was -- suspicious.  “Are you in your office?”  She didn’t say ‘if you’re having sex with someone in there, we’re never speaking again,’ but she felt it was strongly implied.

  
_“It seemed like a good idea at the time, and I know you probably just got that disapproving look on your face, but you’ll see what I mean when you get here.  Don’t open the door too wide, okay?”_   


She was pretty sure her expression had gone beyond ‘disapproving’ by that point, but she took a fortifying breath and tapped on the door.  “I’m here,” she said unnecessarily.

“It’s open,” Tony called from inside.

She stepped through the door carefully, mindful of his warning.  She thought she kept an open mind when it came to expectations and Tony Stark, but this -- “What are you doing?” she asked.

“What does it look like?”

It looked like Tony, sitting on the floor, with something that looked suspiciously like Captain America’s shield.  The Iron Man armor, along with the superhero that normally accompanied the shield, were nowhere in sight.  

“Where’s Steve?” she said.  (It was a technique she’d learned early on -- never get caught up in banter; just keep asking questions until you start getting answers.)

Tony pointed behind her, and she spun around, only to see -- not Steve Rogers, but a giant orange cat, tail fluffed out enormously, glaring at her with feline loathing.  She reminded herself that when it came to this  _particular_  group of people, the least likely explanation was probably the place to start.  

“Steve’s been turned into a cat?” she guessed.

“Take a note -- glowing bubbles full of glitter are not good news,” Tony said, gesturing at the cat.  “At least he’s domesticated, sort of.  Bruce is an octopus.”  She must have looked alarmed, because he added, “Not here; he’s in the Hudson.  Don’t worry, Natasha’s looking for him.”

“Right.  And you?”

“‘Iron Man is an Avenger.  Tony Stark is a civilian consultant.’”

He was quoting -- Director Fury, probably.  If he’d been sitting in a chair, she was sure he’d be kicking the legs in bored frustration.  As it was, he threw a halfhearted glare in the direction of the cat, and then -- oddly -- at his desk.

“Tony,” she said, suddenly suspicious.  “Where  _is_  your suit?”

He sighed.  Then he whistled.  Out from under the desk slunk a dog.  A robot dog.  

Of course.  The suit had been transformed into a robot dog.  Why hadn’t she just assumed that right off the bat?  

She couldn’t resist saying it, because who knew when she might get another chance like that?  “Your suit has been turned into a robot dog,” she said.  

“Yes,” Tony said, and then the dog spotted the cat, and she was really glad the door was shut.  It was amazing how cat-Steve still retained his instincts for using the shield, but the office furniture was definitely the worse for it.  Now she knew why Tony was sitting on the floor.  

The dog finally took refuge behind her legs, and Steve lashed his tail from next to the desk.  “Settle down,” she told him firmly.  To Tony, she said, “There’s a plan, right?”

He shrugged.  “We think Thor’s immune.  I was a little more worried about getting these two someplace safe than hashing out a mission brief at that point.”  He was inching his hand closer to the cat as he spoke.

She speed-dialed Coulson and got nothing but voicemail.  She didn’t bother leaving a message.  Eventually, they’d apprehend and detain whatever colorfully-clad and poorly-named villain had caused the whole mess, and it would get sorted.  If SHIELD needed them before that, she had no doubt they’d send someone.  In the meantime, it wasn’t like they couldn’t all use some downtime.

The dog whined softly behind her, and nudged her towards the desk.  “Good dog,” she said, and Tony snorted.  She patted its head anyway, and sat down next to Tony on the floor.  The dog edged in next to her, hooking its nose over her ankle, and they all leaned into each other comfortably.  

After a minute, Tony said, “Well, come on then,” and cat-Steve stretched out over their laps, purring wildly.  


End file.
